Goat Weed

by Ferrel Miller

Ferrel and Tammy
Ferrel & Tammy Miller

We took a weekend ride a while back on the Road King; we had been on the road for a couple hours and pulled into a gas station for a pit stop. I went to use the restroom and noticed the usual machines on the wall; the one that always catches my eye is the “Horny Goat Weed”! I got to thinking about it and said “what the heck!” and bought a pack. I was getting a little thirsty so I also got a 16 oz. can of Red Bull then went back to the bike. Tammy went inside, and I figured it was the perfect time to eat the goat weed and slam the Red Bull. Tammy came out, and we got back on the bike and rolled out.

About a half an hour later we are rolling through a nice wooded area and all is fine; the rumble of the pipes, the throb of the Road King, the fresh country air, and Tammy is kicked back on the queen seat like a chicken hawk on a telephone pole. I’m feeling like one of those Big Horn Rams you see on a national geographic documentary. The wooded area ended and we broke out into this huge pasture of beautiful green winter grass; that’s when things got crazy! bahhaa. This feeling came over me I couldn’t control, all that beautiful green grass, baaahhaaa! I couldn’t control myself any longer! I bailed off the bike and went to grazing, baaahhaa!

Well, I didn’t notice the huge bull that was also in the same field, and he didn’t care to share his grass. The chase was on! He ran me around the field a couple times, and for some reason I started jumping up and down and mule kicking! Baaahaaaa! Well I guess the bull never seen anything like that, so he turned around and hauled ass, so the chase was on, and I ran him around the field a coupla times!

I didn’t know it at the time, but the rancher and Tammy are watching all this. Fortunately, the rancher had a great sense of humor. Unfortunately, Tammy didn’t; I slept in room 113 and she slept in room 213! We had a bill in the mail today from the hotel; $200.00 dollars for pillow cases and a comforter… Tammy asked if I had any idea what that was for; all those beautiful flowers; baaaaahhhaaa!

Leave the goat weed alone!

To be continued; different life, different story…

© Dewayne P. Blanco, 2017